they said they heard you say put it in my butt
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
