She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
