i barfeds in our rink
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize