I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
