My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize