if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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