you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
