tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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