Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
