nut hugger
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
