Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
