babies were throwing up all over the place
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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