Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
