Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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