drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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