Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
whose parrot is this?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
