Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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