I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
