if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
