If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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