i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
