Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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