I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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