i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
