butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
