Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
