Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize