I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
