Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize