I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
