So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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