Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
