any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
