So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
