all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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