Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
