I got chris browned last night
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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