Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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