So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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