Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
