Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Randomize
