toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
she peed on how many people?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
