I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
