I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
