there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
