I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
