yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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