i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
