I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
