You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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