I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
