He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
