I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
