Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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