She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You pole danced in your parka.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
