i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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