brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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