He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
