you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize