I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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