Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
