Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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