i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
