Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
