i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
