Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
