Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
