Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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